It is often said that a man must be decisive. Most of us know that “whatever you want” is always the wrong answer to a woman’s question.
No matter what stage of dating you are in with a girl, I would take this advice one step further — never try to persuade a girl of any plan. When interacting with men, you can use logic to convince them of the merit of a particular course of action. The second you start selling your plan to women, though, it reeks of desperation and shows that you are begging for her approval. Here’s an excerpt of a text exchange I had with a girl:
Me: “Let’s get together Thursday night" Girl: "Sorry, I'm going to XYZZZZZ :)" Me:”k" Girl:”But what did you have planned?"
She wanted me to take the bait and dazzle her with my best offer so she could reject me yet again. I could have either agreed and amplified, telling her that I reserved a hot air balloon, seventeen course meal, and backstage passes to a Coldplay concert just for the two of us. But, my time is valuable -- why would I set myself up for future flakes and debase myself to be her dancing clown? Instead, I never spoke to the girl again.
There’s a great post in the Danger and Play archives about this principle within a semi-relationship. You must operate from a place where spending time with you, and not whatever thing you are doing, is the valuable component to the plan.
A rookie mistake is to assume that women can be persuaded logically to spend time with you, but attraction cannot be negotiated. Because they tend to live more in the moment (and because they have so many offers), women are not going to do anything that they don't immediately want to do. If you have to justify or sell, you've already lost.
Never sell your plan to girls. If they feign that they are deciding whether to spend time with you conditional on your plan, they see you as a low-value sucker whose time and wallet they can rape with impunity.