Monday, July 29, 2013

Five Manosphere Beliefs I Disagree With

The Manosphere is often accused of being a hive-minded echo chamber by its detractors. It is natural to assume that a confederation of men gathered around a few core concepts will have a large overlap in the thought process and convictions of its constituents. That said, here are several recurring ideas I see on blogs I read and respect that I personally disagree with:

Homosexuals Can't Be Good Parents - Parenting is difficult. With the number of single-parent households today, it's clear that the environment children are raised in isn't taken as a serious priority regardless of sexual orientation. Despite Roosh's well-written post on the de-masculinization of male children raised in a same-sex environment, I find the notion that gay parents will pass on their homosexuality to be doubtful at best. Until there are studies done on the comparative well-being of children from single parent, dual-parent, and dual homosexual parent households, we're all just speculating. We should also remember that most adopted children are being saved from foster homes, group homes, and other state-run environments that have serious issues dwarfing having parents who just prefer to put their genitals in different places than the majority of the population. 

Older Women Are Useless  - I covered this already in another post. Most men understandably chase younger girls, but older women are not without their charms in a dating context and can sometimes provide a more fulfilling overall experience.

Religion Is A Solution - Taking the Red Pill is about unplugging yourself from the pretty lies society has created to placate and control you. Therefore, it is incongruous that some who are otherwise "red pill" in their worldview still believe that the whims of a magical omnipotent man in the sky have any bearing on their lives. Breaking the devotion to what amounts to an adult Santa Claus allows us take even more ownership of our lives. As a set of fairy tales created by people in power to control the masses since the dawn of time, religion is the ultimate Blue Pill. 

If You Work A 9-5 Office Job You Can't Be Happy -- Most people are boring. They have no interests, ambitions, or desire for risk or excitement in their lives. Their shitty office job is not the cause of, but rather the reflection of this lack of character. Even without a dream job you can make money doing something that is reasonably intellectually stimulating and use leisure time to pursue things that fulfill you. The main drivers of unhappiness are more often the associated limitations people shackle themselves to (mortgage, wife, kids, friends they dislike, etc.) because they see their officemates doing the same thing. Office drone jobs and lack of fulfillment are correlated, but sometimes we reverse the direction of the causal arrow.

Capture The Flag - Hey, I just banged a girl who was born in a certain country. Who cares? My boner doesn't follow national boundaries, and I wouldn't turn down a girl I find even slightly more attractive than another just to get a new flag. I agree that flag count helps to describe the breadth of your game's appeal and provides a fun distraction, but I've encountered guys who regard it as a dogmatic conviction to be held above their own attraction.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Introvert Game: Must Be Present To Win

Western Cancer wrote an excellent article at ROK a while back with some tips for introvert game. I won't repeat too many of his great points, but I want to underscore the absolute necessity of one of them:

You have to force yourself to show up.

Many people confuse shyness for introversion. I'm not shy -- It's easy for me to talk to people once I'm in the right situation and mindset, but it saps my energy and requires me to recharge alone after. It also distracts me from my own ideas and forces me to use brainpower making useless small talk. Since this is not a pleasurable sensation, my default is to put myself in these situations less often than the average person. 

If you are introverted, showing up to the game is 90% of the struggle.  Sure you can work on your day rambles, develop ways to show your value, and make yourself a more interesting person, but if you encounter one opportunity to show it off per week you're not going to get very far. Water flows downhill, and without conscious effort you're not going to seek out situations that cause a baseline of mild discomfort.

For example: I hate shopping. I would rather order everything on, go to the farmer's market once a month for frozen meat, and read a good book with the time saved. The idea that I have to get in my car in the year 2013 and spend precious free hours physically picking up items and putting them into a dumb shopping cart is laughable. But I've realized that efficiency sometimes has to take a back seat for social opportunities, and thus I do my shopping like everyone else. 

It's an extrovert's world, and we introverts must learn to withstand some discomfort for the sake of approach opportunities and personal growth. Charge it to the game; you must be present to win.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Game, 8 Years Later

I recently read "The Game," Neil Strauss's famous bible of pickup artistry that thrust the previously underground PUA culture into the mainstream spotlight. 

Though the community has changed since this exposé hit the shelves, a timeless theme of the novel is that men have a drive toward understanding the world around us. Despite their idiosyncratic approaches to seduction, the characters chronicled in the novel built their craft using the scientific process, ruthless efficiency, and a dedication worthy of admiration. We owe these guys a lot for the inroads they made into understanding the female psyche, even if their vernacular and specific routines now seem dated.

That said, the book is no hagiography of Mystery and his fellow "mPUAs." Though the quality and quantity of tail they conquered is proof these guys were passing the Turing test for alpha, Strauss chronicles how internally they were light years from being the naturals they attempted to emulate. One of the most engaging and fascinating themes of the book was how most of the PUAs were deeply troubled and unfulfilled. Obliquely acknowledging this deficiency at one point, Mystery hints at the idea of creating a forum to build and share non-game value:
"I envision this lounge as not being about pickup, but rather about something bigger: life goals. Women are a huge part of that, and we work together to help each other obtain them. However, I’d like to extend our topics to money, social status, and other ambitions. 
I think one of life’s biggest difficulties is not being able to share your problems honestly. So, state your issues here, and you have a hundred intelligent, trustworthy men who can assist you. 
Also, tell us your goals and objectives. If you don’t have any, now is the time to make them. I want to see all of us get our shit together and reach self-fulfillment. Travel, women, money, social status, whatever. Let’s assist each other along the way. Let’s all work on the same projects and synergize our efforts like a corporation."
Unfortunately Mystery couldn't follow through on his own advice. Despite having had a show on VH1 and more ass than most of us could imagine, he is a tragic figure in the novel --- a manic genius with innumerable gifts but the curses of depression, sloth, and fear of success. He is constantly making grand plans about magic shows and fame, none of which come to fruition during the narrative. 

Mystery's self-medication to assuage the internal disconnect between ambition and accomplishment was to approach, approach, and approach some more. Strauss eventually realizes the short-sightedness of this method during one of his own seductions, at a party where he was essentially dynamite fishing due to his fame and status:
She asked, "What do you do for a living?" 
"What?" I replied. I couldn’t believe she would ask that, but she seemed to need that piece of information in order to explain my status at the party and her attraction to me. 
"What do you do?" she asked again. 
And that’s when I had the epiphany: Sarging is for losers. 
Somewhere along the line, sarging became seen as the goal of pickup. But the point of the game is not to get good at sarging. When you sarge, every night is a new one. You’re not building anything but a skillset. What got me laid on my birthday was not sarging but lifestyle. And building a lifestyle is cumulative. Everything you do counts and brings you closer to your goal. 
The current Manosphere is picking up slack where the first generation failed. The Roosh forum is one example of a place where like-minded men can share tips on girls, money, lifestyle, health, travel, and the other things that make a man's life worth living. I can only imagine how the characters in the novel would have been better served with the resources available today.

That the community has evolved markedly in the last decade is not an indictment of the book by any means. Strauss's ability as a writer makes the book informative, entertaining, and fast-paced. I recommend you pick up a copy for both historical and entertainment value. 

Click Here to buy "The Game" by Neil Strauss

Don't Miss: Pickup at 25,000 Feet

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Buy "Three Years of Hate" While You Can

When Matt Forney revealed himself to be Ferdinand Bardamu, the prolific author of the now-defunct In Mala Fide, I was one of the few who had not made the connection. IMF was one of my first exposures to Red Pill thought, and set into motion many of the events that resulted in me creating this blog. 

Three Years of Hate condenses the best moments of IMF into a single work, and represents the only existing record of many of these posts now that IMF has vanished down the Internet memory hole. The book spans a range of topics such as religion, political theory, game, racism, the evolution of sex, and many others with a well-written alt-right slant. This is some really foundational stuff for the manosphere, including such essays as:

The Emptiness of Modern Manhood
Soccer and Multicultural Imperialism
Marriage is Dying: How Will Women Respond?
Not All Women Are Like That, Explained

Matt was always a terrific writer no matter the nom de plume, and this exhaustive manifesto of his worldview was even more interesting the second time around. On the rare points I disagree with, the prose is compelling and witty enough to make me think about the validity of my position.

If someone asked for three pieces of material for an introduction to the manosphere's gestalt, Three Years of Hate would be among them, along with the Best of Roosh and the Solomon blog archives. I won't go any more in-depth with a review, but I want to make everyone aware that this excellent compilation is only available for another week. I encourage you to buy it while you still can.

Click here to buy "Three Years of Hate"

Don't Miss: Book Review: Confessions of an Online Hustler

Monday, July 8, 2013

Mailbag: Styles of Game

A reader writes:
1. What are your thoughts on these books and their authors' strategies?

The Mystery Method by Mystery
The System by Doc Love
The Manual by W Anton

2. Direct game or Indirect game?

3. What's the best method to get laid fast and consistently?

4. What's your own process/method/steps for game? 

Thanks for your questions.

1. I have not read any of those books. I am peripherally familiar with the Mystery Method, because I just finished The Game (and will review it in this space at some point). Based on a cursory look at Amazon reviews, they don't appear to offer any knowledge that can't be gained for free in the manosphere. Read every post on Roosh, Danger and Play, and pre-2011 Roissy (Heartiste) and you'll spend less time and money getting more applicable advice. If you want to distill it down to two essential books, I suggest both Bangand Day Bang. There is very little else you need to pay for.

I may be reading too much into your question, but I would caution against falling into the navel-gazing that can arrest newbies getting into the game. Optimizing your choice of game books to read is like working on a master's degree in comparative literature to become a good writer; it doesn't work that way because people learn skills by doing them. Doing 50 approaches over the next 2 weeks will give you more practical knowledge and improve your progress more than any of the books you mentioned.

2. I like to approach more during the day, so, indirect game. At night my approaches are more direct. It takes some trial-and-error to come off as sexual without acting horny or desperate.

3. If those are your only two goals you should go to the club, approach like a machine, escalate, and have good logistics. You'll get blown out a lot and will probably end up wasting a lot of time and money, but it's the shortest route to get notches without regard to quality or opportunity cost. 

4. A cornerstone of the Mystery method is teaching to demonstrate higher value. The best game tip I can provide is not simply to demonstrate higher value: you need to BE higher value. Picking up girls isn't the top priority in my life. It probably isn't even 3rd or 4th on the list. I derive most of my pleasure from learning new skills, my hobbies, my job, reading, writing, and spending time with the few important people in my life. When girls realize that you don't make them a real priority, they begin to like you even more. 

My somewhat reductionist game advice amounts to the following: Get yourself in shape. Pick up a couple interesting hobbies. Maximize your appearance. Maximize your ability to make money. Look at what the average person around you is doing and DO NOT DO THAT. You can work on your game while you improve elsewhere by approaching and keeping abreast of the 'sphere. Lastly, prospect prospect prospect. Always be meeting women and collecting numbers so that a flake here or there won't set you back.

Reading pickup books instead of doing the above will make you like several of the lesser characters in The Game -- spouting lines that other people made up, getting laid occasionally, and having no foundation of value within yourself to fall back on when things go badly.

Send your questions or comments to manexmachina @ gmail dot com

Friday, July 5, 2013

Kill It With Fire: r/relationships

I have a love-hate relationship with Reddit. The popular news aggregator contains a wealth of information on esoteric hobbies and subcultures often delivered with the sarcastic dry humor I can appreciate as a closet nerd.

On the other hand, Reddit users are predominantly people that you wouldn't want to associate with in real life. Nearly every subreddit is populated by the social dregs of that particular subculture. A useful way to think of subreddit X is "Poorly socialized nerds doing X." Khrav maga subreddit? Imagine the nerdiest guy you have ever seen at martial arts class. Seduction subreddit? These are the guys still talking about sarging HB8s and k-closing the target after their wing AMOGs the AFCs in the club.

Robert of 30 Days to X pointed out on Twitter that the r/relationships subreddit is an especially large treasure trove of bitter blue pill comedy. These are actual post titles from the last few days:

"My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend -- and I still love her"

My[22 m] girlfriend[23 f] is still talking to guys she met online- should I be concerned? I need an outsider's perspective please?

"My [22M] Girlfriend [21F] of 3 years blatantly asked me if she can have a One-Night-Stand. I said yes and now I feel like shit."

My[19M] girlfriend [19F] of ~6 months drunkenly kissed another guy, should I be angry?

Relationships are difficult to navigate in a world where men are taught to defer to women's feelings on every issue, and this forum perfectly illustrates the pervasiveness of the feminine imperative among blue pill thinkers. A typical r/relationships "problem" involves a man discovering his girl is cheating, and then asking about how to apologize for snooping on her phone to find the dirt. It's proof enough that "just dump her" is seen as a troll response in this forum.

If you are wondering how much Red Pill you have digested, an excellent barometer is your level of disgust while reading the threads on r/relationships, and whether you can pick out the subtext and gender power dynamics displayed in these scenarios. Happy redditing!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

One Year Ago Today

I took a deep breath, tensed my legs, and put all the strength I had into throwing the bar up into the sky. It was no use. Not only did I fail to hit my previous calculated max, but it had dropped today by almost 15 pounds.

On the way home I grasped for something positive to take from the workout. I realized that I had barely thought about one of my middle-weight warmup sets on the bench, 5x145. I flashed back to my first flirtation with weight training in college, when I could barely get a single rep at 145 despite having the same body weight. Even on a slow day, I easily put up a warmup lift that I couldn't have done at 100% effort a few years ago.

The people with the greatest drive are often their own worst critics. This sphere is full of people (myself included) telling you you should always strive for better, but it is important to occasionally step back and reflect on your accomplishments. What do I know today that I didn't know a year ago? What can I do today that I could do a year ago? 

A year ago, I had no idea what a triangle choke was. I couldn't deadlift 350 pounds. I didn't own a juicer. I'd never approached a girl during the day. And I didn't have a blog.

A programmer friend of mine once said "if you're not embarrassed about the code you wrote 6 months ago, you're not learning enough." For some reason, this stuck with me as a life philosophy. As long as you can look backwards and marvel at something you couldn't do that now seems so easy, you are moving in the right direction.